Little Life Journey

This week I have been kissed by the Angel of Computer Death. So far my home laptop has been behaving like a spoilt child but at least it's alive and functioning semi-well. My work laptop however appears to be going a different way as it's looking more and more like an an old horse that needs to be put down and turned into a Tesco lasagne. No? Too soon?

After a two hour warm up time on Thursday it died a death on Friday, was given the IT kiss of life and a spanking new upgrade and then...died again for real five minutes later. I am not the most patient of people but I'm sure you will be delighted to know that I refrained from smashing it into teeny tiny pieces and dancing on its grave.

Anyhow, rant about machines over. I did write a few more paragraphs following that one ranting about how you should and shouldn't send an email but I got bored writing it so assumed people would get bored reading it.

What I do want to mention is something that was said this week as part of anonymous feedback for a work event but first, let me take you back. My first ever job was working at a dry cleaners when I was 17. I did this because I was at sixth form college and needed the money to get to and fro each day and to also pay for any books needed. Even at that age it was very much a case with my parents that if I wanted to do something than I better pay for it myself. Which I did.

Then I decided I wanted to travel before university and because the dry cleaners couldn't get me the hours I quit and worked for Woolworths. During my Woolworth's experience I worked the clothes section, the toy section and the sweet section. I can tell you stories about the pic 'n' mix that would make your toes curl. This I did, and enjoyed, until I took my pennies and travelled for three months. After that I left home aged 19 and went to university.

During my time at uni, for those who know me and those who have seen the pictures, know that I partied hard. Also during this time I worked hard. I had a work placement in a school for children with physical disabilities, took part in the School Association Scheme, was selected to work for the Mind charity before the voluntary scheme folded, mentored three GCSE students and volunteered as a youth support worker. In holiday's I was a temp washing dishes and serving posh people drinks.

After university I have had three roles in two companies. During this entire time I have signed myself up to two online courses with the Open University, several online courses via the company I am currently with, adult learning classes in the local education centre, a NLP Home Study course and am currently in the process of applying for my Masters degree. All whilst working full time.

Now everyone is different, I get that. The reason why this particular bit of feedback stuck in my mind is because I enjoy learning. It doesn't even need to be beneficial to your career. If you have seen the pieces of 'pottery' that I have made after that particular adult learning course you will understand that it wasn't a benefit to anyone at all. I enjoy learning and it appears that I am starting to make a career out of it. So the feedback said this:-

Provide incentives for us to go on training courses. This can be money or gifts.

I won't say much more other than the company we work for will pay for people to go on courses or will pay towards it if it has a career benefit. So if there is training or learning that is relevant to that person they will get it for free. Let me say that again. They will get to attend free courses that will benefit them whilst we pay them to work for us.

Like I said everyone is different but I wanted to share my little life and learning journey with you because you can imagine the look on mine and two of my colleagues faces when we came across that particular note.

What's the saying again? Never look a gift horse in the mouth? Well clearly the horse that person was looking at was inbetween two buns and a piece of lettuce. No? Still too soon?

Squee Moment of the Week:-

This is what I found on Valentine's Day in my freezer. If you know me you know this is a very very very very good thing!

Quiet Week, Presuppositions and Shea Butter Legs

My week has been a rather quiet one, some stuff went down but I don't care to share that publicly as it has been successfully resolved 'off-grid' as it were.

After a doctor's appointment on the Wednesday I remembered why I hate doctor's surgeries. Rude receptionists, appointment's running late (this time 40 minutes), other people staring at you trying to work out why on earth you're there and the worst thing is the people that are clearly sick. I'm talking about the snorting, coughing and spluttering where you can practically hear their lungs fill up with something pretty gross. *Shudder*

Luckily I managed to not catch anything (memo to self to check temperature) and saw the week out by having dinner with a friend at The Boatman and had a nice long walk in the rain today. Turns out that the ducks in Guildford will come to you when you make kissy noises at them.... not too sure what worries me the most. That they will walk towards you or that I chose to make the kissy noises.

Today I would like to share my six favourite NLP presuppositions. Wow sounds exciting right? Well I think so but then I am a nerd.

I mentioned a while ago, albeit briefly, that I am studying a NLP Practioner home study course and slowly but surely I am making my way through it. What I covered today was the 15 NLP presuppositions and at the end of that half of the module they asked us to write down our favourite six and why. I'm not going to write down why I am choosing the six but I will include the six and the explanation behind it.

So here goes:-

1. Respect other people's model of the world.
We all have an internal representation of the world. I say the word 'chocolate' to you and what comes into your head? Do you just see the word? Do you see a brand? Do you see a product? The chocolate itself? Maybe you think of some chocolate you ate and at a particular time. Maybe you even see the Aztecs.

Everyone has different perceptions, beliefs and experiences and it's this rich tapestry of our backgrounds that provide our model of the world and no one's is the same. You don't have to like someone else's model of the world, you don't have to agree with it but you have to understand that this is their model, their interpretation of the world and it's not wrong just because it's not yours. Respect other people's model of the world and you will find you have greater success at understanding where they are coming from.

2. People are not their behaviour.
Ever have a bad day? Ever lost your temper at someone? Last week I got so overwhelmed that I snapped at a colleague and walked off. Completely out of character and not a behaviour that I am proud of. If everyone assumed that I am that behaviour then they would think that I am not a particularly nice person. That would suck. I like to think I am a perfectly nice person just on that day I was tired, overworked and irritable.

I am not that behaviour. Other people that are shit to you are not that behaviour. Again, like everyone's model of the world you don't have to like or agree with the behaviour you just have to understand that the person isn't their behaviour. People might not be able to be changed but behaviour can be.

3. All behaviour has a positive intention.
If this presupposition is in your mind when you interact with others it will change your view on how they are behaving and even on how you are behaving. Even if there is a behaviour you don't like if you think that the intent behind it is positive than you can start to try and understand why someone is behaving that way and also change your own behaviour to it.

4. The most important information about a person at any moment is how someone is behaving.
Essentially not what someone is saying but what they are doing. If someone is sat in front of you sobbing saying that they are ok there is something incongruent going on. It works on more subtler levels as well. Sounds obvious right? You'd be amazed at how something as obvious as this clearly doesn't translate as much as you would think.

5. No failure, only feedback.
So you didn't get the result you wanted? You set out to achieve A and you acheived B? Failure right? Well no. Ok you achieved B but the whole point is you achieved B. If you've achieved anything it isn't a failure but a result. If it isn't the intended result what needs to happen is you need to listen to the feedback, take the unintended result as something to learn from and go back and do it again until you get the intended result.

I guess this one is a case of wash, rinse, repeat. Adjust until it works, this presupposition takes you from affect to cause. Instead of accepting an unintended result as an affect on you, put yourself as the cause of the action and then you become the cause to action.

6. The meaning of the communication is the response you get.
You're talking to someone and they start getting angry with you. Or they start crying. Must mean something is wrong with them. They are really not listening to what you are saying.

Well this one is saying that actually, the meaning of the communication is in their response not what you intended to communicate. If you are getting a response that you didn't think you were going to get you need to do a check on the way you are getting your point across. It isn't the person you are communicating to's responsibility to understand you, it's your responsibility to communicate effectively so that people understand you. If they respond in a way you weren't intending you need to change the way you communicate.

As a personal example I was having a conversation last week with two people tha,t from their perspective, was coming from a good place. During this conversation I started to get upset and reacted in a way that surprised them both. For a while I was thinking, why I am acting like this if they are telling me this feedback is coming from a good place. Actually I understand now that if I was reacting in a way they weren't expecting (which I was by starting to become emotional) then they needed to change the way they were communicating their message.

So there are my six. You may find the information above some of the most interesting information ever or you may think you just wasted 5 minutes of your life. If it's the latter maybe I didn't do my job of communicating to you properly, but hey give me my feedback :)

As a quick aside my squee moment of the week involves this company:-

I was organising my toiletries over the weekend because I have way more than a human being should have and I have a lot from Soap and Glory. So much so they should just hire me to be one of their testers which I would gladly do. I now have my products arranged in a way so that I can actually find things I need and as part of this re-organisation and product finding mission I have started to use a lot of stuff I didn't know I had, including my Soap and Glory items.

My legs are now so smooth that if we had lino instead of carpets in our home I would be happily getting from room to room by sliding on my bum.

Crazy Pet Lady

I like to go onto the RSPCA website and look at the animals. When I am done there I go visit the Dogs Trust and Battersea Dogs Home websites. Then whilst I look I start getting incredibly sad because for every adorable dog or cat or guinea pig that I see I get acutely aware of the type of websites that I am on and why there are so many animals on there.

If you ever want to read something truly sad don't pick up a book of fiction, instead read the news feed on the RSPCA website. Today's offerings include an eldery collie stolen from his owners, put in a plastic bag and dumped in a canal; two teenage girls kicking a kitten unconscious and puppies being thrown from a moving car.

Yes there are people that exist in this world that think the above is a) ok and more disturbingly b) fun

For me the equation works like this:
Gerry + Guinea Pig + Chocolate drop + Refusal to do Ccrcle trick= Happiness

For some other people in this world the above equation for happiness clearly calls for pellet guns and animal torture. Those people are more than sick. I don't think a word has been invented for how I really feel about them, but give me an hour with them and a plastic bag or moving vehicle and I'm sure I can make my feelings known.

I go into Pets At Home to stare in the guinea pig enclosures like some weird sort of cute rodent stalker but if I were to ever get another pair of piggies they would most definitely be rescue ones because I have my doubts about anything that comes out of a chain pet store (mainly because I doubt how they source their 'stock') and also because animals that have been treated as something less than living during their shorter- than- people lifespans deserve to be truly loved.

This week's blog was going to be me writing about how busy the last month has been which is why I haven't updated in a while yada yada but my mum called me this evening to say that my one remaining guinea pig Wilbur died this morning. Thankfully she died of old age and peacefully, found on her side with her nose touching her food bowl. She had owners ridiculously dedicated to her every cavie diva need, a good life and peaceful death which is a lot more than some.

If you are thinking of getting a pet make sure that you're dedicated to it, you are getting a living creature and not a household accessory. Whether your choice be feline, canine, rodent or reptile you should treat it with the love and respect that anything with a beating heart is rightfully entitled to.

My squee moment of the week is this picture:-

This is Wilbur and Dougie when I first got them (about 4 weeks old in this picture). They have earnt a squee because it's due to their adorable and crazy personalities that I now have a crazy love for guinea pigs and will probably give a good few more pairings from rescue shelters a loving home.