Disney vs Misery

As I am off to Disneyland Paris on Monday, sorry let me say again in case you didn't hear me, as I am off to Disneyland Paris on Monday I would like to 'theme' this weeks post accordingly.

I would like to share with you this hilarious (well I find it so) video that has been going viral. Take a little moment and enjoy...

Watched? Enjoyed? Good. The guy is called Jon Cozart and appears to be a scrawny kid from Texas who has a real talent at singing, pulling great faces & putting together a brilliant parody of what happens to some of our Disney princesses when the happily ever after is over.

For those of you who have chosen not to watch the video because you think it's mushy Disney crap I recommend that you click play. Ariel's ecosystem is being destroyed by oil spills and whaling, Aladdin has been arrested in the War on Terror, Belle is going to be burned at the stake by her crazy village and Pocahontas is going Last of the Mohican on our arses. Who couldn't blame her? She was after all the grand old age of 11 when she met John Smith who was pushing on 30. I guess child protection laws weren't in effect in Colonial America.

What I love about this most is that someone who clearly loves the Disney can also see the twisted side of it all. And, as I am talking about twisted I would also like to share the Twisted Princess series on Deviant Art created by an artist called Jeffrey Thomas. I cannot help myself, I am clearly a morbid creature.

I happen to adore the Disney movies- the art, the songs, the way I just feel better after having watched a Disney movie marathon. Maybe it's because life can be crap and sometimes, just sometimes, it's nice to escape into a world where 100% of the time the good guys win, the girl gets her man and the bad guys end up falling off tall buildings/ clifftops/ aircraft.

Then, when I am feeling particurly NeilGaimany I like to dabble in the dark side and sample from the various reminders of where these stories actually came from. Modern authors are getting in on the act. Neil Gaiman has his 'Snow, Glass, Apples,' a re-telling of the Snow White legend from a more sympathetic point of few of the step-mother. Angela Carter has her anthology of short stories based on fairy tales in 'The Bloody Chamber,' a book I love so much that I really, truly wish I had written it myself.

The modern authors and artists get in on the act where it comes to the horrifying side of Disney but I happen to have a copy of Grimm's Fairy Tales and for anyone who knows about this sort of thing knows that the source material isn't exactly sunshine and happiness. Cinderella as an example has a glorious section describing how each of her step-sisters start hacking away at their feet just for the chance to squeeze into the shoe. The prince notices the blood seeping from the slipper and realises that neither are his gal. I know people can be desperate to not remain single but c'mon ladies....

When I was younger The Little Mermaid was all I wanted. I had the games, t-shirts (not the doll though- curses!) & the books. As an adult I have two copies on DVD, one I can watch and one for 'collectors' purposes and I went to see the Broadway play when I was in New York. I also remember reading the original version when I was a child and was both fascinated and horrified. No Flounder or Sebastian but instead tongues being cut out, sisters offering knives for a bout of heart stabbing, feet that bleed when our heroine dances and a far from happy ending when she loses the man she loves to another woman and then turns to foam.

Say what?? Isn't it fantastic. For every 'modern' re-telling of anything involving a fairy story just go back and look at the original. It's nothing new- these writers just want to go back to the source.

People complain that Disney have perverted the true fairy stories. Well yes. And no. If I had a five year old I would be much happier with them watching the Disney way of life and frankly there are moments in time when I am far happier regressing to my 7 year old self and singing my heart and soul out to 'Tale as Old as Time.' However when I am feeling a bit more 'mature' I like to read fairy tales as they were originally intended, warning's about the evil, bad and sinister.

That's the great thing about Disney and fairy stories. Sometimes you're in the mood to read about women making sacrifices (by er, not committing murder) and spending eternity earning a soul and other times all you want to do is watch colourful fish dance around a red-head.

So I shall enjoy my little trip to Disney, wear the Mickey ears and meet the characters and maybe when I'm back I'll start on that mini fairy tale I've been trying to work on when it's cold and damp...

Squee Moment of the Week:-

Spent last Sunday watching big burly Rugby men doing their thing at Twickenham thanks to an invite from my friend Beth :) It was bloody fantastic! Though not too bloody thankfully. We were so close to the try line that we could see sweat and tears (not that there were any, this isn't football) and muscles and... well I'll stop now before I get into trouble.

Zombie Nation

This week has been the week of epic fails. Ok well not epic but maybe fails. Statistically this week I managed to achieve 1 out of 10 things I was supposed to do. Though that one thing I did achieve has a 'yay' factor. Drum roll please....

Disneyland Paris is booked! Yayayayayayayayayayay! Feel free to go to their website (here) to peruse and pretend that you are me in two weeks time, running around the place like a five year old out of their mind on old school blue smarties. It's for my birthday you see and I have never felt so excited about turning 28. Well, when I put that number into writing my excitement dims a little.

Something I read once about my star sign claims that I am the perpetual child, I told my mum this and she quite agreed though I don't think it is anything to do with my star sign just a side effect of my glorious (hehehe yeah) personality.

I didn't update this last week so my apologies, I can't say that I had anything better to do but did manage to get in a little road trip. The company I work for has research offices in Cambridge and last week I headed up there to deliver a bit of training. I'm getting used to this training and presenting lark and in the past few years have delivered to all walks of life but I found nothing more intimidating than the idea of presenting to Scientists who will one day cure cancer (probably), especially as all I could think about was that their presenter can't really do her 8 times tables in her head.

Cambridge, as brief as I saw it, was lovely and the offices where I went were brilliant. I am clearly easily swayed by chrome and glass but the building was just so shiny. I got an office tour and one of rooms we walked past was the Biomedical Laboratory. It's a room for the elite and as I didn't have clearance I wasn't allowed in but I enthusiastically pressed my body against the glass, stared at the yellow uber-hazard bin and passionately whispered 'this is where zombies are made' whilst having flashbacks to 28 Days Later. Of course I didn't actually do that but sadly it's not 100% off what I nattered to the tour giver about. I don't know if I'll be invited back...

That then oddly tied in with a weird conversation I had this week. The Zombie Apocalypse. When faced with one of these-



-Who would win? Huw or me? The debate raged (and I really mean raged) for an hour and a half. If I'm honest and I really didn't want to be at the time I think Huw might win. He is stronger, fitter, faster and dare I say more ruthless. I tried my best to convince him that in the event of The Zombie Apocalypse I would be leaving him to eat my dust whilst some Zombie's chowed down on Huw a la dente but let's face it, I have trouble walking up the stairs at work. They most definitely would be having fillet of Gerry.

The one thing that came out of the debate was how my pottery could finally be useful. I made two vases that would successfully crack a skull like an egg, and as I demonstrated during the week you can just fit them over your hands and wear them like vase-mitts. Then if you swing like crazy for five minutes you would be able to achieve a small but important Zombie kill count. Then whilst you take an exhausted break because those things weigh a friggin ton one of the Zombies would get you from behind. Ok, let me re-think this and get back to you.

Squee Moment of the Week:-

My trek to and from Cambridge was absolutely heinous thanks to being a non-driver and so I had to trek with everything through London on two trains and two tubes. I would never commute through the City as people that do so are in fact, soulless. I can see it in their eyes. However after lugging computer and bags and self for days on end a nice tall gentleman saw my shoulders sag at the thought of climbing up a long flight of stairs and did a nice job of carrying it all for me despite having his own stuff. We joked about my lack of Popeye muscles and how he wouldn't steal my bag because ladies clothes aren't his thing. It's squee because I had already been sworn at once on the tube and was starting to think that nice people do not travel into the City when a small act of kindness at the end of the day by a complete stranger really cheered me up. Nice randoms exist. So Mr. Tall Guy With Glasses and More Muscles Than Me Who Will Also Probably Survive the Zombie Outbreak- thank you. This week's squee is for you!