Alien vs. Predator Requiem & the Mystery of Why I Am Watching It

So I am watching Alien vs. Predator Requiem. I say watching but as I'm supposed to be concentrating on my NLP course I am more glancing over every minute or so just to see what is occurring. What is occurring? Not a lot. This move is crap.

My confession is that I haven't seen the entire Alien movie (the first and original) the full way through. Don't get me wrong I have seen the movie but not from start to finish. Over the past many years I have managed to successfully watch half an hour at a time before I finally cave into the terror and turn it off. With this movie however I have made several high brow critical comments such as 'if the rats run that direction follow them you idiots,' 'that is not a rat you friggin tosser' and 'dude could get away with pretending he is a tall Rastafarian with these bunch of idiots.' I'm not rating it highly as you can tell.

The reason why the original works for me is because I feel physically tense when I watch it. Even though I know what is coming and the element of surprise is somewhat diminished it is still uncomfortable enough to be interesting and scary. In this movie I am more like 'yeah, yeah, yeah facehugger blah blah blah.' I will also forever love the fact that the original introduced one of the first strong female characters in a genre where women were pretty much cannon fodder. Without Ripley who knows if we would have had Scully, or Buffy or any other kickass female ending with 'y' like....Gerry for example!

Watching this though reminds me of a conversation I had once with my friend the Fluffy Duck. In Alien vs Predator there are two primary opponents, the aforementioned Alien and the aforementioned Predator. Humans are merely the background event, primarily running around like fools trying and failing to not get impregnated or killed. We aren't rooting for the humans merely just hoping that the ones we like will get out alive. In this particular good vs. bad guy movie we are supposed to be backing the Predator. He (are there any she's?) is the 'good guy.' I could now launch into a pseudo feminist rant about how the Alien's are all female, the Predators are all male and that this is a sexist movie designed to perpetuate that female's are crazy hormonal creatures driven soley by their purpose to reproduce and males are the strong 'heroic' balance restorers. But I wont.

What I will say though is we are supposed to be supporting this guy:-

Really? REALLY? Now don't get me wrong, if I am faced with Mr. Pincer above I have a better chance of surviving than faced with Ms. Slimey below.

One look at me and any self respecting Alien would go 'hmmm hello nice fleshy incubator' but then they aren't particularly discerning. Predator would have a look over and walk off laughing. Worthy opponent I am not.

But for some reason we are supposed to find this decent behaviour? If you are weaponless and defenceless you are supposed to go 'why thank you mighty warrior alien race for not destroying me, you are of strong and wonderous character.' As I said to my friend, the Alien isn't inherently evil. I don't want to come face to face with one but they are acting on their base urges. Evolved to ensure their species survives whatever the cost. Pleasant? No. Neither is the real life Spider Wasp which Alien was supposed to be based on. Check it out here if you want.

We are led to believe the Predator has a higher degree of consciousness yet they are still very happy to hunt other species. Hmm familiar. It is a creature with a supposed higher moral compass that is quite happy to kill other sentient creatures for funsies. I am curious as to this guy's motivation if I'm completely honest. If a shark or lion or other predatory animal attacks there is usually some basic evolutionary motivation behind it. Food, threat, reproductive challenges. If a person attacks another person what is their reasoning? If you know what is right and what is wrong and still act in a detrimental way to others is that not wrong?

I feel like I need to sit the Predator down and find out exactly when he felt that his mummy stopped loving him.

That all being said I really am rooting for the dreadlock guy but here is a nice video to further support the fact that he is a douche.

Better Late Than Never

I apologise. I’ll tell you why though you know it already. I was doing so well, reinstating the  blog and making regular updates that clearly kept you oh so thrilled and then…. well I got a little slack. Life happened and both thumbs dropped off, I got kidnapped by pirates, aliens abducted me, I became queen of my own utopian dynasty. Ok life happened and I got lazy. I’m sorry because I did swear to you (my one loyal reader) that I would update next week and several weeks later here I am.

So please forgive me and allow me to update in style. Or because I don’t know how to update in style please allow me to share all the funness (is that even a word? Webster’s says no) and life happenings with you because sharing is caring after all.  

I last updated on the 14^th April to brag a little bit and so I am going to brag a little bit more because a week later Huw and I got this little guy…

Haaaaaave you met Barney Stinson? Well no you haven’t because I am introducing you to him now. Barney is a Long-Haired Golden Syrian Hamster which essentially translates to sooooo cute and fluffy!!!!!!

I’ve owned a hamster exactly the same breed as Barney before, his name was Cookie and if I could demonstrate his personality by humanising him Cookie would have worn a top hat, maybe even a monocle and would have carried a walking cane swishing it dandily (is dandily a word? Webster’s says yes). If I could demonstrate Barney’s personality I am looking at a different character. I’m seeing a leather jacket wearing, cigarette smoking and motor bike riding type of person. Sort of like-

So far I have learnt that you can’t watch Top Gear or Fast and the Furious or leave the window open on busy days because Barney doesn’t like the sound of cars. He also cannot stand Annie Lennox. He will pretty much go for anything if it is made of leather and has taken tiny little hamster sized bites out of my bag and purse before I’ve noticed. He will chew for hours on his cage bars rather than gnaw at any of the hamster chew related products purchased for him and then he will wilfully dangle upside down from the suspension bridge. So far Barney has peed on the wall, chewed through several cushions and is determined to dig his way down the sofa. Plus monkey nuts are his crack cocaine. Boy will go crazy to get his paws on one of those things.

Frankly he is a bit hilarious to watch. Anyone that says hamsters don’t have personalities clearly has never owned a hamster and I double dare them to put anything leather near him and see how long it lasts.

The other news I guess is that I’m leaving my place of employment after 5 years. I was starting to feel so down and doubt myself about my ability to do anything remotely work related. Then I got a phone call from someone who had spotted me and mentioned a potential job opportunity for me. Long story short I interviewed and got a new job. I am being replaced by two people at my current work place so I feel vindicated that when I said I was busy I wasn’t just talking pants.

I feel a mixture of emotions. I’m sad that I am leaving a place where I have worked and enjoyed working for a long time with the knowledge that I will not work with some excellent colleagues again but I am also grateful that I have had the opportunity to meet those colleagues and do what I was able to do.

I’m also feeling that glorious feeling of excitement and nerves you get before you do anything new. It’s been a while since I’ve been the new girl and I’ve already got all those little voices in my head –not the scary kind- whispering all their doubts. Forget the butterflies in my stomach; I have great big bats flapping around in there. In fact sod the bats. I think I’ve got a case of Batman.

For a long time I haven’t been able to get round to reading anything and I've really missed it. Now I am fully ensconced in the Song of Ice and Fire series (aka Game of Thrones) and am trying to rein it in a bit because the series isn’t finished and I’m exceptionally greedy and want to have it all. I had a wonderful moment last weekend when I realised that I just couldn’t and wouldn’t put one of the books down until I had finished it and for the first time in a long time I sat reading until the sun came up and then went to bed when I finally closed the cover. That is the power of stories.

On that note I bid you adieu and will try and update next week, I might not have the powerful stories but I do like to tell them.

Squee Moment of the Week/ Moment for Others to Be Absolutely Terrified:-

I have booked my first driving lesson.