Little Life Journey

This week I have been kissed by the Angel of Computer Death. So far my home laptop has been behaving like a spoilt child but at least it's alive and functioning semi-well. My work laptop however appears to be going a different way as it's looking more and more like an an old horse that needs to be put down and turned into a Tesco lasagne. No? Too soon?

After a two hour warm up time on Thursday it died a death on Friday, was given the IT kiss of life and a spanking new upgrade and then...died again for real five minutes later. I am not the most patient of people but I'm sure you will be delighted to know that I refrained from smashing it into teeny tiny pieces and dancing on its grave.

Anyhow, rant about machines over. I did write a few more paragraphs following that one ranting about how you should and shouldn't send an email but I got bored writing it so assumed people would get bored reading it.

What I do want to mention is something that was said this week as part of anonymous feedback for a work event but first, let me take you back. My first ever job was working at a dry cleaners when I was 17. I did this because I was at sixth form college and needed the money to get to and fro each day and to also pay for any books needed. Even at that age it was very much a case with my parents that if I wanted to do something than I better pay for it myself. Which I did.

Then I decided I wanted to travel before university and because the dry cleaners couldn't get me the hours I quit and worked for Woolworths. During my Woolworth's experience I worked the clothes section, the toy section and the sweet section. I can tell you stories about the pic 'n' mix that would make your toes curl. This I did, and enjoyed, until I took my pennies and travelled for three months. After that I left home aged 19 and went to university.

During my time at uni, for those who know me and those who have seen the pictures, know that I partied hard. Also during this time I worked hard. I had a work placement in a school for children with physical disabilities, took part in the School Association Scheme, was selected to work for the Mind charity before the voluntary scheme folded, mentored three GCSE students and volunteered as a youth support worker. In holiday's I was a temp washing dishes and serving posh people drinks.

After university I have had three roles in two companies. During this entire time I have signed myself up to two online courses with the Open University, several online courses via the company I am currently with, adult learning classes in the local education centre, a NLP Home Study course and am currently in the process of applying for my Masters degree. All whilst working full time.

Now everyone is different, I get that. The reason why this particular bit of feedback stuck in my mind is because I enjoy learning. It doesn't even need to be beneficial to your career. If you have seen the pieces of 'pottery' that I have made after that particular adult learning course you will understand that it wasn't a benefit to anyone at all. I enjoy learning and it appears that I am starting to make a career out of it. So the feedback said this:-

Provide incentives for us to go on training courses. This can be money or gifts.

I won't say much more other than the company we work for will pay for people to go on courses or will pay towards it if it has a career benefit. So if there is training or learning that is relevant to that person they will get it for free. Let me say that again. They will get to attend free courses that will benefit them whilst we pay them to work for us.

Like I said everyone is different but I wanted to share my little life and learning journey with you because you can imagine the look on mine and two of my colleagues faces when we came across that particular note.

What's the saying again? Never look a gift horse in the mouth? Well clearly the horse that person was looking at was inbetween two buns and a piece of lettuce. No? Still too soon?

Squee Moment of the Week:-

This is what I found on Valentine's Day in my freezer. If you know me you know this is a very very very very good thing!

Quiet Week, Presuppositions and Shea Butter Legs

My week has been a rather quiet one, some stuff went down but I don't care to share that publicly as it has been successfully resolved 'off-grid' as it were.

After a doctor's appointment on the Wednesday I remembered why I hate doctor's surgeries. Rude receptionists, appointment's running late (this time 40 minutes), other people staring at you trying to work out why on earth you're there and the worst thing is the people that are clearly sick. I'm talking about the snorting, coughing and spluttering where you can practically hear their lungs fill up with something pretty gross. *Shudder*

Luckily I managed to not catch anything (memo to self to check temperature) and saw the week out by having dinner with a friend at The Boatman and had a nice long walk in the rain today. Turns out that the ducks in Guildford will come to you when you make kissy noises at them.... not too sure what worries me the most. That they will walk towards you or that I chose to make the kissy noises.

Today I would like to share my six favourite NLP presuppositions. Wow sounds exciting right? Well I think so but then I am a nerd.

I mentioned a while ago, albeit briefly, that I am studying a NLP Practioner home study course and slowly but surely I am making my way through it. What I covered today was the 15 NLP presuppositions and at the end of that half of the module they asked us to write down our favourite six and why. I'm not going to write down why I am choosing the six but I will include the six and the explanation behind it.

So here goes:-

1. Respect other people's model of the world.
We all have an internal representation of the world. I say the word 'chocolate' to you and what comes into your head? Do you just see the word? Do you see a brand? Do you see a product? The chocolate itself? Maybe you think of some chocolate you ate and at a particular time. Maybe you even see the Aztecs.

Everyone has different perceptions, beliefs and experiences and it's this rich tapestry of our backgrounds that provide our model of the world and no one's is the same. You don't have to like someone else's model of the world, you don't have to agree with it but you have to understand that this is their model, their interpretation of the world and it's not wrong just because it's not yours. Respect other people's model of the world and you will find you have greater success at understanding where they are coming from.

2. People are not their behaviour.
Ever have a bad day? Ever lost your temper at someone? Last week I got so overwhelmed that I snapped at a colleague and walked off. Completely out of character and not a behaviour that I am proud of. If everyone assumed that I am that behaviour then they would think that I am not a particularly nice person. That would suck. I like to think I am a perfectly nice person just on that day I was tired, overworked and irritable.

I am not that behaviour. Other people that are shit to you are not that behaviour. Again, like everyone's model of the world you don't have to like or agree with the behaviour you just have to understand that the person isn't their behaviour. People might not be able to be changed but behaviour can be.

3. All behaviour has a positive intention.
If this presupposition is in your mind when you interact with others it will change your view on how they are behaving and even on how you are behaving. Even if there is a behaviour you don't like if you think that the intent behind it is positive than you can start to try and understand why someone is behaving that way and also change your own behaviour to it.

4. The most important information about a person at any moment is how someone is behaving.
Essentially not what someone is saying but what they are doing. If someone is sat in front of you sobbing saying that they are ok there is something incongruent going on. It works on more subtler levels as well. Sounds obvious right? You'd be amazed at how something as obvious as this clearly doesn't translate as much as you would think.

5. No failure, only feedback.
So you didn't get the result you wanted? You set out to achieve A and you acheived B? Failure right? Well no. Ok you achieved B but the whole point is you achieved B. If you've achieved anything it isn't a failure but a result. If it isn't the intended result what needs to happen is you need to listen to the feedback, take the unintended result as something to learn from and go back and do it again until you get the intended result.

I guess this one is a case of wash, rinse, repeat. Adjust until it works, this presupposition takes you from affect to cause. Instead of accepting an unintended result as an affect on you, put yourself as the cause of the action and then you become the cause to action.

6. The meaning of the communication is the response you get.
You're talking to someone and they start getting angry with you. Or they start crying. Must mean something is wrong with them. They are really not listening to what you are saying.

Well this one is saying that actually, the meaning of the communication is in their response not what you intended to communicate. If you are getting a response that you didn't think you were going to get you need to do a check on the way you are getting your point across. It isn't the person you are communicating to's responsibility to understand you, it's your responsibility to communicate effectively so that people understand you. If they respond in a way you weren't intending you need to change the way you communicate.

As a personal example I was having a conversation last week with two people tha,t from their perspective, was coming from a good place. During this conversation I started to get upset and reacted in a way that surprised them both. For a while I was thinking, why I am acting like this if they are telling me this feedback is coming from a good place. Actually I understand now that if I was reacting in a way they weren't expecting (which I was by starting to become emotional) then they needed to change the way they were communicating their message.

So there are my six. You may find the information above some of the most interesting information ever or you may think you just wasted 5 minutes of your life. If it's the latter maybe I didn't do my job of communicating to you properly, but hey give me my feedback :)

As a quick aside my squee moment of the week involves this company:-

I was organising my toiletries over the weekend because I have way more than a human being should have and I have a lot from Soap and Glory. So much so they should just hire me to be one of their testers which I would gladly do. I now have my products arranged in a way so that I can actually find things I need and as part of this re-organisation and product finding mission I have started to use a lot of stuff I didn't know I had, including my Soap and Glory items.

My legs are now so smooth that if we had lino instead of carpets in our home I would be happily getting from room to room by sliding on my bum.

Crazy Pet Lady

I like to go onto the RSPCA website and look at the animals. When I am done there I go visit the Dogs Trust and Battersea Dogs Home websites. Then whilst I look I start getting incredibly sad because for every adorable dog or cat or guinea pig that I see I get acutely aware of the type of websites that I am on and why there are so many animals on there.

If you ever want to read something truly sad don't pick up a book of fiction, instead read the news feed on the RSPCA website. Today's offerings include an eldery collie stolen from his owners, put in a plastic bag and dumped in a canal; two teenage girls kicking a kitten unconscious and puppies being thrown from a moving car.

Yes there are people that exist in this world that think the above is a) ok and more disturbingly b) fun

For me the equation works like this:
Gerry + Guinea Pig + Chocolate drop + Refusal to do Ccrcle trick= Happiness

For some other people in this world the above equation for happiness clearly calls for pellet guns and animal torture. Those people are more than sick. I don't think a word has been invented for how I really feel about them, but give me an hour with them and a plastic bag or moving vehicle and I'm sure I can make my feelings known.

I go into Pets At Home to stare in the guinea pig enclosures like some weird sort of cute rodent stalker but if I were to ever get another pair of piggies they would most definitely be rescue ones because I have my doubts about anything that comes out of a chain pet store (mainly because I doubt how they source their 'stock') and also because animals that have been treated as something less than living during their shorter- than- people lifespans deserve to be truly loved.

This week's blog was going to be me writing about how busy the last month has been which is why I haven't updated in a while yada yada but my mum called me this evening to say that my one remaining guinea pig Wilbur died this morning. Thankfully she died of old age and peacefully, found on her side with her nose touching her food bowl. She had owners ridiculously dedicated to her every cavie diva need, a good life and peaceful death which is a lot more than some.

If you are thinking of getting a pet make sure that you're dedicated to it, you are getting a living creature and not a household accessory. Whether your choice be feline, canine, rodent or reptile you should treat it with the love and respect that anything with a beating heart is rightfully entitled to.

My squee moment of the week is this picture:-

This is Wilbur and Dougie when I first got them (about 4 weeks old in this picture). They have earnt a squee because it's due to their adorable and crazy personalities that I now have a crazy love for guinea pigs and will probably give a good few more pairings from rescue shelters a loving home.

 

 

 

First Week 2013

Hello all (or my one reader or whoever)! I hope your first week of 2013 has been gloriously productive or wonderfully relaxed whichever you were aiming for.

I want to brag a bit about my New Year's Eve because I very much enjoyed myself. I realised some time ago that I absolutely hated the type of New Years Eve where you spend 50 minutes in the cold waiting to get into some bar or club where, once in, you can't get a drink or hear what your friend's are saying to you.

I used to think I must have been quite boring not loving this way of seeing in the New Year until various Facebook statuses from people made me realise not a lot of other people like doing that either.

So, as something which is fast becoming a tradition, Huw and I have spent the past two New Year's Eves in a hotel. Last year we stayed at Beaumont Hotel, Winsor and this year we stayed at Macdonald Frimley Hall, Camberley.

I much preferred the Macdonald Frimley Hall. The hotel was only half an hour to get to from our house, was beautifully old with modern conveniences and the service was wonderful. When the staff said they would do something they would actually do it. So I saw in 2013 eating steak and brownie ice-cream following it up with champagne and truffles. I just really wanted to rub that in your faces.

I read something the other day, that instead of having New Year's resolutions every time something good happens you make a note of it and place it in a jar. Then, at the beginning of the next year you take all your notes and read what wonderful things you have done. I'm not going to keep a jar but I will be writing my happy things here so:-

Squee Moment of the Week: Has to be the aforementioned seeing in the New Year with my partner whilst consuming steak & champagne.



This week I also signed up to do an online NLP Practioner (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) course. Thank you Groupon for the discounted prices! Yes I may have discovered the joy of Groupon- please check it out it is rather wonderous (http://www.groupon.co.uk/).

I'm very much wanting to focus on my development this year and to try to keep my brain from rotting away so I've started what is a rather interesting course, I don't know if it will get me anywhere in particular but just for personal interest. If I come across any shareable nuggets of info I will include them here.

Next week is going to be quite full on for me so I feel like sharing the plans. Doing my usual montly induction but will be travelling up to Tipton in the West Midlands to provide another induction for an acquisition and then will be travelling to Wales to celebrate Huw's mums 60th. Hopefully I will remember where it is I need to be and when!

Have a good week all!

Happy New Year

I don’t know what I was doing this time last year so I am struggling to write a post that reflects on my year and how what I am doing today is different from what I was doing on 30^th December 2011. I am also struggling to write, two days before the start of 2013, about whether I achieved any of those new year’s resolutions people keep banging on about from 2012. If I am honest I don’t think I made any.

Because I can’t remember anything of any importance I would like to suggest you partake in a quick quiz. If you get all the answers right you get a prize. So here goes:-

Home

In February my partner and I moved in together, but who was I living with in 2011?

a)      Angry lesbian

      b)      Drunken slutty nurse

c)      Patronising housemate with a severe weight problem

d)     All of the above

Work

Whilst working on a massive project at work , I felt so stressed that I felt I could have vomited where?

a)      In the waste bin

      b)      On the printer
      c)      On my colleagues

d)     All of the above

Holiday

In September my partner and I went on holiday to Hawaii. What happened?

a)      We had a fantastic time

b)      I got sun burnt in stupid places

c)      No romantic proposal

d)     All of the above

Children

During 2012 I got asked:-

a)      Why I didn’t have children yet

b)      When was I going to have children

c)      Do I not have children because I don’t like them

d)     All of the above

Finances

I got nowhere saving money for what?

a)      Masters degree

b)      House deposit

c)      Eye surgery

d)     All of the above

Friendships

This year was made more wonderful because of whom?

a)      Some of my wonderful work colleagues

b)      All of my fantastic friends

c)      My long suffering partner

d)     All of the above

I have actually had quite a good (albeit busy) year; I have learnt a lot and gained a lot more. I personally feel that even if you haven’t ticked everything off your to-do lists or even if life has thrown curve balls your way than it is still a good year if you believe it to be.

I have a mental list of what I would like to achieve for 2013 (learn to drive, go on holiday, write more fiction, start my masters, get eye surgery etc) but I am aware that I may not be able to achieve them all (or any depending on how things go!) but I like to have a project list on the go just to make myself feel that I am working towards something.

Time will only tell if I achieve these things by the end of 2013 but if I don’t as long as I feel like I have had a good year than that is all that matters.

This is my last post of 2012, I hope you all have a fantastic start to 2013 and enjoy whatever it is you are doing for New Year’s Eve.

There is a saying that one picture is worth 1000 words. I struggled to find one picture that summed up my year so I chose a few pictures from a massive selection and have included them below as a collage.

Wishing you all happiness and health!

P.S. If you answered all of the above to the quiz then you are right. Well done. I bet that was so difficult.

Merry Christmas!!

This post does what it says on the tin...wishes you a Merry Christmas!

I've had a week off from work and am prepping myself for next week which I also have off so it's not been much of a bad life for me. I may need to add some elastic to my jeans mind as 6 lunches this week have definitley taken their toll on my waistline but I've refrained from eaten all the chocolates which is nothing short of a Christmas miracle.

I won't be writing much more but would like to impart on you to have a Merry Christmas with all your loved ones; that you drink, eat, laugh and be happy and healthy.

Please also enjoy the Christmas Guinea Pig, nature's most adorable rodent looking festive. Not my own piggie unfortunately as Wilbur would never sit still enough for you to place baubles around her in a decorative way. If I could it would be considered the biggest Christmas miracle.

If music be the food of love, play on

In and around December a man called Daniel Kim (not to be confused with Daniel Dae Kim who played razor-cheekboned Jin in Lost) spends on average 500 hours pouring over all the songs that were released during the year and merges them into a 50+ song mash-up.

This year's effort 'Pop Danthology 2012' has gone online and I just cannot stop listening to it.

The premise is I suppose that all pop and R&B songs sound so similar that with the effort and time you can easily merge them all into one. Well that's what the cynical & multitudes of Youtube commenters say. The cynical may well be right due to the '4 chord' belief but I've been rocking my jollies on this pop fiesta anyways.

I enjoy music. I don't pretend to be an expert because my foray into the world of keyboard playing when I was ten didn't exactly go fantastically well but then when was music played only for the experts?

Personally speaking (though I think many would agree) I like the way music makes me feel. I genuinely don't care whether my favourite song sounds anything like my second favourite song or my third favourite song. They could all be mini-song clones for all I notice, but maybe one has a different beat or a certain lyric and that's what resonates.

Other people listen to music that I hate, in fact the mash up above contains at least 5 songs that I just cannot stand. In return I listen to music that other people hate. When I play certain Regina Spektor songs, especially the ones where she makes strange noises with her lips, I come over all goosepimply while my boyfriend would probably choose death by falling speaker to kill both himself and the music. Doesn't mean she's not good, just that she's not good for him. Doesn't mean (oh this pains me to say) One Direction aren't good. They just aren't good for me.

Problem is that I've come across this 'art snobbery' before. I love Sci-fi and Fantasy. Reading it, writing it, fantasising that I'm a world famous author of some of it. I sat next to an English professor from Santa Barbara on a flight to the States and she said that The Hunger Games was one of the best pieces of fiction she had ever read but because it's not considered 'literature' it will never get taught in any English classes which she considers an awful injustice.

It even happens quite close to home. I'm not involved in the theatre industry but many people I now know are and one person in particular that I have met believes that theatre is only truly theatre if people are gasping, weeping and dying on stage. Anything less is cheap. She speaks passionately about plays where people are dressed in black and say nothing for 40 minutes whereas I quite enjoy the idea of The Lion King.

The average punter (of which I am) with their busy and stressful lives tend to want to take their hard earned money and go do something which makes them happy. So whether that means I want to watch Shakespeare, read Game of Thrones or listen to Flo Rida then so be it. Those things might not necessarily be good for everyone but they sure are good for me.

Except Whistle.

So enjoy (or don't) the Pop Danthology video I have chosen to share this week because I am going to enjoy having it on loud, drinking my Baileys and jumping around singing about having a good time.